Obituary:
Idi Amin the killer in the kilt
Amin, 83,
was born 101 years ago this year in 1925, the same year as Margaret
Thatcher. After claiming to herd geese and other ‘jungle
beasts’ as a young man he joined the British Armed Forces
in 1946. As a soldier Amin’s zeal and character impressed
the brass, the British being renowned for their ability to judge
character. Even after he slaughtered a braise of locals in a
dark-African skirmish, his court martial was dismissed because
he was ‘a good egg’.
Following
the British withdrawal from Uganda, Amin threw the considerable
weight of his support behind that of Prime Minister Milton Oboto
when the people of Buganda attempted a coup. Needless to say
Amin weighed in, single-headedly crushing the revolt in truly
revolting style. Not happy with his bloody victory, Idi KO’d
Oboto in his own rumble in the jungle and set about becoming
THE MAN.
In the days when Blaxploitation rooooled Hollywood, Idi set
about shafting his people. First, he made indigenous whites
kneel before him, then he lobbed out any Israelis found on his
patch following a trip to Libya to meet new pal Colonel Gadaffi.
His
reign came to an end at the end of the 1970s. Rather than being
remembered as a man who sold donuts as a kid, or who British
Intelligence called: 'Well-disposed to Britain: perhaps to an
extent damaging to him in the African context’, will be
best remembered for his deeds, for which he offered the following
excuse: ‘In any country there must be people who have
to die. They are the sacrifices any nation has to make to achieve
law and order.’
Since
leaving Uganda, Idi toured Africa at pace before settling on
Saudi Arabia as a liberal holiday resort in which to see out
his days. Little did he know that he’d once more try to
enthuse the West in Africa.
Amin
was recently tipped to take the top job in Liberia. A waiter
at the Saudi Arabian hotel where Idi resided for the past 20
years confided just prior to a fatal couscous accident: 'The
President had been working out, swimming, pumping iron, and
training his lungs so he can once more play his beloved bagpipes.'
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IDI
always wanted to visit Westminster, the seat of British
politics, even when he’d grown to hate the English.
IDI loved Scotland. Why?
Scottish soldiers, pals and team mates used to whack him
on the head with a hammer before rugby matches to get
him really fired up.
IDI enjoyed fishing and driving his Chevy Caprice.
IDI once said:
Don't disturb the people of Uganda at night by running
about shooting. Uganda is going at supersonic speed and
the people must not unnecessarily be made to panic.
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