• Spare-parts warehouses full of headless torsos so that you could destroy all of your internal organs with drink and drugs and get a new set at any time.
• The resurrection of lost pets or dead children for purely sentimental or lifestyle reasons. Not to mention new pet trends like sabre-toothed poodles or woolly-mammoth rabbits.
• A host of benefits for re-incarnationists and alien cults.
• The chance to have a lot of little “mini-yous” running all about the place for the general amusement of you and your friends.
• Clones make you feel better about yourself because you can treat them as second-class citizens whose life is worth less.
• Clones make the perfect slaves for both work and sexual purposes, and if you accidentally kill one, you can just make a new one.
• And finally, immortality! You can have your brain transplanted into a new body at any time and live forever. And when you have a brain as brilliant as mine (and I know that you don’t), the possibilities are truly limitless.

The case against by the Rev. Elvin J Whipple of Sacred Angels Church, San Francisco

I am blessed, blessed that each time I stand in my pulpit and gaze down on my beloved flock I see the face of God. His visage radiates out at me from each and every soul in the congregation, and for that I am truly grateful. Yet, when I read about the possibility of human cloning I, a humble man of the cloth, more than despair as I weep. The Lord created us all in his image and what these scientists are seeking to do usurps his majesty. Human cloning is not progress, it is the antipathy of progress! Cloning is but a step away from replacing humans with robots. Where will it end?

When I look at my flock I don’t want to see Dolly the Sheep, all arthritic and wheezy, with nothing to do but bleat on about various ailments. I want my charge to be fit, strapping and human, something sad Dolly could never be.

The advocates of human cloning point to the many diseases that could be eradicated if we pursue this course of action. Perhaps some disorders will be, I’ll concede this. Yet, by thunder, have they not pondered the generically modified diseases, the mutated maladies, that might rear their ugly heads to smite our race?

If I might be allowed I would like to digress here for a moment, I should like to deliver a short allegory to support my views. Many years ago I took a slow boat to Tangiers, in order to spread the word of God to these poor young men who plied their trade in the city’s houses of ill repute. One morning, after a particularly hard session, spent mostly on my knees before my congregation, I awoke with a severe pain in my gut. This was undoubtedly due to the perfumed figs I had devoured the night before. My stomach, you see, was not used to this source of protein.

What I am saying is that how can we, the human race, hope to counter afflictions that would render us indisposed? This genetically perfected pernicious fiddling could bring forth the four horsemen of the apocalypse and for this reason alone we must stave off our carnal desires for the perfect man.