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Israeli 'Berlin Wall' blocks
peace-map road
The
US government has urged Israel to re-think its plans to build
a bloody massive wall to fence in the West Bank. Israel said the
wall was a necessary security measure and that construction would
continue, unless of course the US started making 'more serious
threats' to cut off funding - the usual situation in other words.
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Saddam
vows to kill Bush's daughters personally
Following
the recent killings of his two sons, Saddam Hussein has allegedly
vowed to avenge his family's honour by personally hunting down
and killing George Bush's twin daughters with his bare hands.
The former Iraqi leader issued the threats in an audio tape
believed to have been released just hours ago.
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Patient
refuses to leave sleep clinic
A patient who had been taking part in an experiment
at a university sleep clinic has refused to vacate the premises
for over three weeks now. The unemployed man is claiming that he
is not feeling well enough to move yet and, perhaps more importantly,
he had not been planning on doing anything more important than sleeping
anyway. A police psychologist has been called in to negotiate with
the man, but progress has been slow as he has only been able to
make brief contact with the patient between long naps.
Boring
bloke marries computer
BFabian Blootz, a computer programmer
from Hanover, Germany has married his PC in a ceremony at his
local church. Herr Blootz won leave to wed the computer, his soul
mate for eight years following a legal ruling by the mayor of
Hanover that ‘a man is free to marry the love of his life
regardless of gender, origin or creed.’ Speaking after the
ceremony Herr Blootz told reporters what the day meant to him.
Wearing a white gown and veil the newly wed said: ‘I love
my PC and now I am free to explore its hard drive.’ The
computer was unable to comment due to a lack of sockets in the
churchyard..
Fat
ugly people are the most insensitive
A survey has found that people who are obviously
overweight and rather unfortunate looking are the most insensitive
when it comes to the feelings of the fellow beings. Ethnic minorities
and handicapped people were also found to be highly intolerant,
but white Caucasian males came tops as they displayed the greatest
capacity for empathy and understanding. The survey was conducted
by Stompenglotz, the bible of the new Ukrainian Fascist movement,
using a carefully selected sample of its few readers.
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spam,
spam, spam, spam
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