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FOX urge pentagon to start next
war soon
Top
television executives from 24-hour news station Fox News held
a meeting yesterday with Donald Rumsfeld, the US Secretary of
Defence, and the Joint Chiefs of Staff (JCS) in an effort to elicit
a firm commitment from the US military as to the start date of
the next war. |
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Chad
has Nuclear arsenal
The
CIA has published a report claiming that the Republic of Chad
has produced weapons of mass destruction. According to a CIA
source, US spy satellites have spotted what looks like an underground
missile launching facility in the desert outside the city of
Mongo.
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Gregory Peck
Deadpan
Pizza remembers Hollywood great Gregory Peck, and concludes
that were more people like Mr Peck, there would be no reason
to send them up.
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Business:
Starbucks to open branches in Afghan & Iraqi mosques
The US Office for Post-Destruction Reconstruction
(OPDR) in Washington DC has signed an exclusive multi-million dollar
deal with Starbucks to pave the way for Muslims to enjoy Frappuccinos,
Iced Teas and all new Bozaccinos as they worship Allah in the many
mosques throughout Iraq and Afghanistan. Local imams have issued
a fatwa against all Starbucks executives, but most of the managers
are unaware of the death decree as the company has not told them,
so they will be unaffected by it. 'Shoot
first, ask questions later' adopted as official Pentagon policy
In an effort to tie-up all legal loopholes and
technicalities that may arise from the shooting of civilians in
any past, present or future wars, the Pentagon has dropped its
old mantra of 'minimising collateral damage' in favour of a new
'shoot first, ask questions later' policy. George W Bush was said
to be pleased as it fit neatly beside his 'wanted dead or alive'
and 'axis of evil' policies, and also had that old familiar ring
of Texas and the Old West.
World
Health Organisation re-branded
WHO has rebranded itself following recent high
levels of publicity during the Sars outbreak. The renowned organisation
has taken a leaf out of Prince’s book by now referring to
itself as a symbol. Now officially known as ? the organisation
feels it will be better equipped to spread its advice on health
matters throughout the world.
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